I don’t know if it’s a feeling in the moment or if it’s something that will leave me thinking and desiring for the rest of my life but I have to get this off my chest.  Of course everyone has their first love and the thing is some are lucky because they get to fulfill all their dreams with that one person, but if you had a first love and something happened and ruined what you two had, that will haunt you for a while. Something like what’s sort of happening to me in these moments. Things happen and you simply wish you can erase those moments in life where things started going differently but unfortunately we can’t and have to suck it up because that’s life. I wish things went differently but things happen for a reason. When I look at pictures and videos, it makes everything 10x harder because you’ve shared so much with that one person and knowing they’re not a part of your life anymore hurts. I don’t have feelings left, but things have happened and just make me realize how messed up people can be and how cold they can get. And that is one reason why I won’t look back no matter how much I’ve desired another chance. Nope, not anymore. Sometimes you’re just better off on your own so you can figure out life itself and see things clearer and be wiser. I don’t regret anything but I will say this, sorry.